4 Reasons Leaders Must Not Accept the Claims of Guilt by Association

I couldn’t believe what was happening. My team from the Preemptive Love Coalition was darting through the back streets in one of Iraq’s holiest cities, on the way to meet the most anti-American, firebrand cleric in all of Iraq.

I was outside Iraq at the time, and my team was led by my good friend, Cody, who was playing host to the first medical team we had ever been able to bring to this historic Iraqi city.

When the opportunity came up to meet with the mercurial cleric who had dominated world headlines for years, some of our key advisors suggested that we push-off, not only for safety concerns, but even more for concerns of being associated with the guy. It got me thinking about the fear most people feel about entering into dialogue and relationship with their enemies, even when those enemies open up a window for peace.

For so many of us, it is not the content of the confrontation we are trying to avoid. Instead, we fear the association itself; the mere image of us yukking it up with the enemy, lest our friends turn on us, saying gone over to the dark side.

So, here are four reasons I believe you must not accept the claims of guilt by association if you hope to be an effective change leader:

1. You rob yourself the joy of friendship with those who see differently than you - When Cody emerged from the meeting with these men, he told me it was one of his favorite days ever. He did not list off a single accomplishment of the meeting. There were no resolutions signed, no agreements for the future. Cody was filled with joy over the chance to establish friendship with the people in the room.

When you stand at a distance from others for fear that their unsavory reputation will taint your image or diminish your influence, you rob yourself of a friendship with someone who can bring unique things to your life precisely because they see things differently.

2. Your enemy will never understand you - Shane Windmeyer, a nationally recognized advocate for the LGBT community, was skeptical when he was contacted by the CEO of Chick-fil-A, Dan Cathy, an ardent funder of anti-LGBT organizations.

Shane was spearheading a boycott of Chick-fil-A and assumed Dan was calling to threaten him with lawyers. Instead, Dan humbly listened and began to develop a deep regard for the things that mattered to Shane.

Over time, phone calls turned into meetings, and meetings into genuine friendship. Both took a risk in loosing their "base" by associating with the other in the first place. Then, on New Year’s Eve, Dan invited Shane to be his guest at the Chick-fil-A Bowl in front of a live television audience of millions, a public testament as to how far they had come in better understanding and loving their one-time enemy.

3. It is not the way of Jesus - One of the hallmarks of the life of Jesus Christ, was his desire to neighbor-up with a rebellious, sin-filled enemy race. “While we were his enemies Christ died for us.”

It was highly shameful for Jesus and all his band of disciples to identify with unsavory tax collectors, adulterers, and the like. Being among us caused him to be “tempted in every way.” This will be true for us, too. But entering into evil doesn’t make us evil. It’s not those things we brush up against or put inside us that rot our souls and make us guilty. Ultimately, we are judged by what comes out, from the inside.

If you want to lead like Jesus—if you want to follow him—you cannot live your life fearing guilt by association.

4. Things will never change - It's simple. It's obvious. And it's true. Whether gang violence in Detroit, deteriorating Christian-Muslims relations in Tennessee, partisan politics, or the questions surrounding nuclear North Korea and Iran, things will never change for the better if someone doesn’t shrug off the erroneous claims of guilt by association and make up their mind to sit down with “the other” in pursuit of the common good.

As Cody met with those clerics who had incited so much violence against America, he never fully knew if he could trust what was happening. The conversation could have been a true representation of their hearts. It could have also been a trap or a stall tactic while militiamen readied their weapons in the back room.

The point is, leadership demands that we cross the divide and try. Avoiding another person whom God made in His image, simply because we want to avoid the perceptions of guilt by association, is not leading. It is merely following the trends of this fearful, self-referential world.

How have you dealt with the claims of "guilt by association?" Am I getting some of this wrong?

Jeremy Courtney is the founder and executive director of the Preemptive Love Coalition, an organization that works across Iraq to eradicate the backlog of children waiting in line for lifesaving heart surgeries. To learn more about Jeremy’s new book, Preemptive Love, visit www.JeremyCourtney.com.