5 Traits of Godly Counselors

Pushing her coffee aside, she leaned across the table and whispered, "I'm going to counseling." The fear of being marked with a scarlet letter permeated the room. Shame had an unspoken association with counseling and in a world that takes pride in being strong, counseling appeared to be a weakness. As I drove home, I was struck by the humility my friend displayed in confessing she needed help. Jesus says in Luke 5:31-32, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance." Like affirming we've been stained by the infliction of sin, seeking counsel demonstrates humility by inviting others into our story.

Unfortunately, many have been wrongly influenced and hurt by the counsel of the ungodly. Proverbs 12:15 says, "The thoughts of the righteous are right, but the counsels of the wicked are deceitful” (NKJV). Without the best interest of others in mind, ungodly counsel has caused marriages to die, businesses to suffer and lives to be lost. Ungodly counselors give advice so that they might gain wealth, power, or approval. God instructs us to seek counsel from those who have surrendered their lives to Christ.

Here are five traits to look for when seeking godly counsel:

1. Godly counselors read the Bible and are eager to do what it says. Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 2:13, “…when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as a human word, but as it actually is, the word of God…”. When they speak, their wisdom comes from what they’ve learned through the diligent study of God’s Word.

2. Godly counselors express selfless love. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says, “[Love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." Their counsel is not for personal needs, but for the prosperity of others.

3. Godly counselors ask questions. Proverbs 20:5 says, "The purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out." Jesus demonstrated this principle repeatedly in Scripture (see Matthew 5:46; 6:27; 9:28). Questions provide the space to process the answers that already live within.

4. Godly counselors never give advice that they wouldn't give to themselves. Luke 6:31 says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you." They consider the burdens of others as though they were their own.

5. Godly counselors tell the truth even at the risk of being disliked. Ephesians 4:16 says, “...speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." Their primary desire is to help cultivate growth for the sake of the gospel.

Good leaders seek godly counsel to become better leaders, to obey God, and to embolden the church. Like my friend, they desire to release whatever may hinder them and grab hold of whatever stands before them. Counseling enables leaders to hear from others for the betterment of all affected by their leadership. Seeking counsel is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of humility and strength.