Battling Busyness and Loneliness

I recently asked a room filled with hundreds of people, "How many feel busy?" I knew what the answer would be, but almost everyone raised their hand.

Remember when if you asked someone, “How are you?” the standard answer was, “Good.”?

What is the new default answer?  “BUSY!”

Such busyness is often perceived as “the new normal” of the 21st century. It almost seems as if some carry busyness around like a badge of honor. Or, if we say we’re not busy we feel ashamed or embarrassed. It's interesting that there is another feeling that more and more people are identifying with:  Loneliness. While loneliness among Americans has risen, the desire to find one’s place among a few good friends has likewise increased.

So, if it’s possible that we live in a culture that is becoming more busy and lonely, what should we do?

The Bible uses words like body and family to describe what our relationships should be like and why we should be connected. There’s no doubt, God places tremendous emphasis on relationships. The book of Acts describes the formation of the early church.  Below are just a few examples of how the early believers pursued the things of God in the context of Christian community.

Acts 2:1 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.

Acts 2:42  They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

Acts 3:1 One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon.

Acts 5:42  Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Messiah.

Acts 12:12  When this had dawned on him, he went to the house of Mary the mother of John, also called Mark, where many people had gathered and were praying.

Acts 16:6  Paul and his companions traveled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia.

Acts 20:7  On the first day of the week we came together to break bread. Paul spoke to the people and, because he intended to leave the next day, kept on talking until midnight.

Acts 28:14   There we found some brothers and sisters who invited us to spend a week with them. And so we came to Rome.
 

Do you see the common thread?  Notice the words that are used:  they, fellowship, Peter and John, many, companions, we. Why was it like that?  Because…

Christian Friendship Inspires Christian Living.
*1 Corinthians 15:33 *Hebrews 10:25

And, Connection Leaves Little Reason for Leaving.
*Hebrews 10:25

When you have people in your life, it’s not easy to take a step backwards without anyone noticing.

Are you familiar with the game Jenga? In Jenga, players take turns removing one block at a time from a tower. When a block is removed it’s placed on top of the tower, creating a progressively taller and more unstable structure. Too often, we try to live like Jenga.

When something is said that we don’t like, we pull away. If we’re struggling we remove ourselves hoping no one notices.  Or, in selfishness we stop caring if others are impacted by our isolation.

There’s another building block game called Lincoln Logs. Lincoln logs are notched miniature logs, used to build small forts and buildings by interlocking the pieces together. This is a better picture of how we should live with others. Lincoln Logs create stability. The pieces are tied in and connected. A piece cannot be disconnected without the other pieces being disrupted.

It’s easier to live in relationship like Jenga.  But, God wants us to live like Lincoln logs.

It’s true, Christian community and spiritual growth are two sides to one coin. If you are intentional about being around Christian community, spiritual growth will inevitably take place. If you are serious about growing spiritually you must be involved in Christian community. If you remain isolated and alone.  You and those you should be leading will be hindered. But, if you will make room for connection with others, your potential can be multiplied!

It can be easy during busy life to let meaningful friendship come last. Think about it, people feel busy and lonely but what we really want is purpose and friendship. If you feel busy and lonely, where should you start?  I want to offer a challenge:

Start With A List.

Who is already in your life that you can deepen relationship with?

Who do you look up to or aspire to be like?  Expand your network by reaching out to them.

Who are the two or three people that you can be completely open and honest with?  Talk to them and share your desire for accountability or strategic friendship.

I know what it’s like to feel busy and alone.  I've been there too.  You must take a step.  You need to move towards people, involvement, and participation.

Making room for connection will take some initiative and conversation on your part, but the results are worth it.  We need community in our life...  Move Towards It.  Make some room.