Burn-Out for a Turn-Out

One of my personal favorite evangelists, Victor Mars—who is a dear friend of mine, was struggling with the war between saying “yes” to every invitation he received, so he could spread the Gospel, versus being the husband and father he wanted and knew he needed to be.  One of his children asked him how he came to his decision of balance when so many people were demanding his time. 

He responded with something like this: “What a failure I’d be if millions of people got saved through my ministry, but my own child never had a relationship with his Heavenly Father because he didn’t have an example of a good earthly father.” 

The first commandment we have as Christians is to love the Lord. The second commandment is to love our neighbor. As leaders and visionaries, many of us are constantly focused on the next big thing for our ministry. While our attention is diverted to the noble cause of spreading the Gospel, our spouses faithfully pray and hold on with patience.  Our children become accustomed to the fact of the intense importance of our mission for Jesus. It’s too easy for us to forget the unsaid commandments we’ve been given to be the best godly husband/wife and mother/father we can be for our own legacy.

This may surprise you, but it doesn’t matter much what your church members think of you. It doesn’t matter much what your staff thinks of you. What does matter is how you care for your family and what they think of you. It’s a shift in how we’ve been trained to think, but as leaders in Christian ministry, we need to care more about them over how many people we brought to Christ. May we be remembered more by who we were more than what we accomplished by the grace of God.

Don’t misunderstand me – building the Kingdom is of immense importance. It’s why I do what I do. It's great to build ministries and buildings and churches. It’s fulfilling to see people come to know Jesus – for He is the only One who can change lives. But don’t forget that some of your most important opportunities for ministry live right in your own home. So, yes, dream big and work hard for the Lord BUT NEVER at the expense of being a leader in your home, which you can be by His grace.

We all struggle to find balance. It’s a delicate equilibrium to find, especially as visionaries. Men, you may find yourself surprised by how wise your wife is in knowing what a healthy balance is. Women seem to be gifted more so than men with this intuitive sense of balance. Allow her to be your helpmate!  Too much is at stake to allow busyness – even busyness for the Kingdom - to steal you away from the life and wife you’ve been blessed with.

A few years ago I was running a mock-speed lifestyle – all for ministry-sake – and it brought me to a point of burn-out. I talk about this season in my new book Unstoppable: The Power of Faith in Action. I became depressed, I hit rock-bottom, and through it I learned that while I can give so much of myself to others, no one is bulletproof, especially not me. What I learned in that time of my life is that my strength can never be my own; it must always come from God and it must always follow His priorities.

God has entrusted us with our families and we need to make them a priority. Here’s how I prioritize in my own life:

1. My personal relationship with the Lord always comes first.

2. My relationship with my wife and the soon-to-be-born son He has blessed us with is next.

3. My ministry to my neighbors and others is third. 

If you also give to the world out of your personal spiritual and emotional tank—the same one that you and your family personally feed from—you will soon become empty. It’s so important to take the first step of faith in finding and actively seeking a healthy balance. If not today, tomorrow is always tomorrow.