Catalyst Dallas + Adoption

“Hey. Wanna adopt a couple of kids?” That was a text I received from my husband Ryan last May. Not exactly a gentle way to bring up a life-altering decision.

What I knew at the time was that he was having an amazing spiritual experience at the Catalyst Conference in Dallas, while I was holding down the fort with two kids and a dog back in Austin.  I assumed he had just heard some incredible speaker; he was on fire with wild ideas flying around his head, and that all would be back to normal in a couple of weeks.  Sadly, I was totally okay with that scenario. I was correct that he had just heard Andy Stanley and Katie Davis speak, who were, by all accounts, incredible.  What I didn't know was that God was transforming Ryan's heart, and that He had been for a long time. 

So, my response to Ryan's text? “No, thanks.”  Is it terribly obvious that my husband is spontaneous, and I'm a control freak, I mean ... a planner?

We talked on the phone that night, and Ryan told me a little about what he had heard that day.  He said that he was coming home with information on financial help for international adoptions.  I told him that our friends who were in the process of adopting a little girl from Lithuania would be happy for the literature.  Ryan is in sales, and knowing his audience very well, he left it at that.

It's not that I was against the idea of adoption.  In fact, it's something Ryan and I had discussed early on in our marriage.  I had just gotten comfortable in my four-bedroom home, which allows me a guest room we almost never use, and with my increasingly self-sufficient two children.  Life was good and easy, and I was serving my God in my way, at my comfort level, and with minimal effort.  My sweet friend Christy, who happily accepted our literature, began asking me about Ryan's desire to adopt.  I blew it off, saying we had already decided to stop at two children, and that this was another one of Ryan's crazy ideas we would never pursue.  I think Christy could tell that my heart wasn't closed to adoption, so she made a sly move.  She asked me to pray.  

Have you ever been afraid to pray for something, because you think the thing you feel totally inadequate to do just might be the very thing God is going to ask you to do?  Why do we think that the Lord is going to ask us to start a rainstorm and not provide the cloud?  I didn't pray. Not for at least a week, but Christy was so diligent, yet gentle in her pursuit.  “Just pray about it, Ashley.”  

I finally prayed.  I prayed several times a day, and I prayed honestly. I prayed that the Lord would reveal what His will for our family was, and that if it wasn't adoption (and I was fine with that), then please show us what it is.  Clarity.  Empowerment.  In a few days I went from thinking “How can I do this?” to thinking “How can I not?”  The Holy Spirit empowered me, and I knew the Lord would be faithful to see us through.  What was Ryan thinking during this whole transformation I was experiencing?  Knowing all along that this would be the result!  He knew God was calling us to this, and he was confident that I would join him in obedience.

Fast forward to putting together our dossier.  We've chosen Ethiopia, and we're requesting siblings.  If it's gonna be crazy around here, bring on the crazy with four!  I feel so at peace about everything except the money.  How are we going to pay for all of this?  Yes, I already doubt after my empowered moment.  Ryan doesn't doubt, almost ever.  It's actually one of the things that both delights and annoys me about him.  He keeps telling me the Lord will provide.  And He did.  The exact money we needed for our first big payments was there.  We didn't have extra for paying off other bills or taking a nice vacation, but we had our daily bread.   

Then Ryan gets a crazy idea, as if doubling the number of children in our house isn't crazy enough.  He decides he has a great idea for a fundraiser – running for 48 hours straight to raise money for our adoption.  Why 48?  “Anyone can run for 24 hours, but I want to do something extreme.”  To be fair, Ryan spends time with a lot of people who run for 24 hours (and pay someone for the privilege of doing it).  Ryan is an ultra-runner, and these are his friends.  So, 48 hours it is.  Oh yeah, and on a treadmill for logistical reasons.  And I don't have a venue.  Here we are, Lord.  We hope you were serious about that helping us through this, cause we seriously need help.

After much prayer and a few setbacks, Paul Carrozza, the owner of a local running store blesses us with a huge gift.  He offers Ryan the use of two treadmills and his store located on a busy corner in Austin for the run.  Thank you, Lord!

The day of the run arrives.  Ryan drives in from a week-long conference he attended for work in Dallas, and my mom shows up at my house to keep my children happy all weekend while we're gone.  Never underestimate the value and power of good grandparents living 10 minutes from you.  They make the world go round.  We have packed a lot for this run – food, drink, clothes, toothbrushes, movies, books, camp chairs, shoes, signs, phone chargers, and much more.  We get to Run Tex and set up the treadmills.  Our dear friends partnering with us through this, Danny and Christy McDonald show up to set up signs and encourage Ryan as he starts.  At 5 pm on a Friday, he starts up the treadmill, and he's off! 

I honestly don't know how to concisely and accurately describe the next two days.  We started outside and moved inside at night.  We put out a cash bucket in front of Ryan and a whiteboard, counting down the hours and counting up the miles.  We got a lot of strange looks and almost caused at least one wreck because of drivers watching Ryan instead of the road.  He wore out one treadmill after 75 miles, but we quickly started up the second.  One friend brought a TV and DVD player, and lots brought movies.  Everyone who showed up called or texted to ask what they could bring to us, so we always had an abundance of food.  We had a team of friends signed up to stay with Ryan both nights and few signed up during the day.  I think everyone stayed longer than their time slots.  Unexpected friends kept showing up.  The village, our village of support, never left our side, and some even offered to hold Ryan up on that treadmill if he thought he could not do it himself.  There were moments during the second night, that we thought it might be necessary.  Ryan's legs were prayed over.  Scripture was read to him, and countless prayers went up in that running store and all over the country.  Facebook friends and strangers were posting so many messages of love and encouragement; I could not keep up with them.  I think I managed to read them all to Ryan, though, as I didn't want one Spirit-moved message to miss its mark.  Strangers walking and driving by were amazing.  People were generous and supportive when they were moved by the cause and by the suffering Ryan was willingly enduring for the cause.  Random strangers brought us coffee and came back both days to check on him.  We witnessed the giving of the widow's mite, as a homeless couple selflessly emptied their pockets of change into our bucket upon hearing our story.  It is difficult to write this without being moved by memories of the selfless acts of love showered on us.  I imagine all of the people who will meet our children and am able to say, “I made that happen”.  How many have loved our children without knowing them!  After 48 hours and 141.5 miles, Ryan finished the run to a cheering crowd and a makeshift finishing ribbon made of toilet paper.  It was a beautiful sight.

Looking back on it, I think the run was a lot like what I imagine raising a family with adopted children will be.  It was difficult, exhausting, and wonderful.  We grew from the experience, we learned a lot, and we made mistakes.  We prayed and asked friends to pray with us.  The village surrounded us physically and in prayer and met every need we could think of and some we could not.  We wanted to cry at times, we got cranky, we laughed a lot, and we became so delirious at times we were absolutely silly.  We were real with our friends and didn't hesitate to ask for help.  Even those who had no idea what the 48 hours would look like and didn't understand why in the world we would attempt to do this, came ready to serve and bless us.  Some passersby were not encouraging, but many offered kind words, support, and coffee.  When our goal was accomplished and we had done all we could do, we were happy, and we knew we could not have gotten there on our own. 

God opened the floodgates that weekend.  When we said we didn't know how we were going to pull off this crazy idea and put it in God's hands, He went to work for us.  The funds are still coming in, and we are faithlessly amazed.  The momentum has been building, and we believe we can continue to bless others in their adoption journeys through 48 Lives.  Our goal over the next few years is to help fund 48 adoptions, but I pray that the Lord's plan is bigger than that, and I think that it is.  48 fatherless children, who may not even dare to let their hearts hope for the unimaginable – a life and a family – may find that and more because of a man who runs long, dreams big, and lets his God's Spirit direct his life.  Let God use you wherever you are, whatever you're good at.  He has a plan for you, and “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus”.  Your work won't be done when your body is, but God will continue it until He comes.  You just have to let Him in and, as my friend Christy would say, pray. 

Ryan and Ashley Beard have been married for 15 years and have two biological children, Garrett and Scout, ages 7 and 5. They have lived in Austin for 6 years and are on the waiting list to adopt two children from Ethiopia. Check out more about 48lives here & LIKE them on Facebook here.