Catalyst Track: Chasing Slow // Day One
Erin Loechner
This track comes from Erin Loechner’s book, Chasing Slow.
- I used to think the opposite of control is chaos. But it’s not. The opposite of control is surrender.
- I used to confuse the words grace and goodwill. But goodwill is not what we have been promised. What we have been promised is grace.
- When we wrap ourselves in anything other than truth, in anything that doesn’t acknowledge our authentic being, we risk hiding our inherent, God-given, life-affirming selves.
Does one of these statements resonate with you?
Maybe you try to control those you lead.
Maybe you can’t extend grace to others because you don’t understand how it was given to you.
Maybe those you lead only see a well-crafted veneer of yourself.
Whatever it is, Erin invites us to take an honest look at the things that drive our motivations, fears and lives.
DAY 1: CONTROL VS. SURRENDER
Our friends have hit traffic and are an hour late, so I begin my habit of counting down the minutes to my next nursing session, Bee’s next nap, her diaper change prior, and I tally up the time available between—maybe a half hour?
We usher our friends into the kitchen for pistachios and tea, and Ken gives me a look that reminds me to relax, to forget the schedule, to stop counting minutes in my head.
I try, I do.
I fail.
I laugh heartily and interject when I can, but I am not following this conversation; I am following the one in my mind. It has been forty minutes. Has she wet her diaper? Should I feed her before the photos, or after?
There is a photo from that day, from those few minutes in the sunroom, and in it I am looking at the camera with Bee in my arms. A smile is plastered on my face, but my eyes reveal fear. My eyes have given me away.
Later, Ken and I take turns brushing our teeth as we recap the day. “You missed a great afternoon,” he jokes.
“I know,” I say.
I used to think the opposite of control is chaos. But it’s not.
The opposite of control is surrender.
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