I Am Not a World Changer

World changer.

How many times have you heard that phrase be thrown out into the open?

From teenagers to people well into their adulthood – we use it far too often. I am afraid that in the midst of branding this onto people, we have lost sight of the truth of how God operates. Yes, He can use us to change the world. However, His first priority is not for us to change the world. His priority is for us to be changed.

The pressure to be something, to do “big things”, to use your voice, to have a following, to be an influencer, it has made us forget what the Lord is most concerned about. Amongst trying to rise up to the standards Christian culture has created, the process of personal refinement, the sacred place, and hidden moments have been pushed to the back burner. So much so that I think we even forget these things exist.

We have too many modern-day prodigal sons/daughters making their way to the Father with arms full of titles, events they’ve hosted, and blog posts they’ve written, forgetting that He wants us before He wants anything else.

Faith produces action. This is not a written letter of excuse to dismiss you from your responsibility as a follower of Jesus. There is no room for lazy in the Kingdom of God. However, there is also no room for striving. Striving and grace cannot coexist. We are invited to stand before the throne of grace and yet we are shoving the grace aside to make room for our accolades.

Yes, the Lord is concerned with what I do, but He is more concerned with who I am. Who I am becoming is far more important than what I am doing.

We work on crafting our skill set, but we won’t work on our character. We try to gain influence, but we don’t try to gain intimacy. We try to see how fast we can get “there” not how close we can walk with Him.

I say all of this because I did it. Sometimes I still do. I called last year the year of self-awareness.

We are living in days where self-awareness has almost caught on like a trend. The Enneagram, StrengthsFinder, the temperament test, the results of taking any of these are making their way into more and more conversations. I am a 3 on the Enneagram. I can tell you how I operate when I am healthy and I can pinpoint right away when I am stressed. I wanted to do better in the areas that I struggled. I dedicated so much time to finding ways to not do some of the things that I have a temptation to do, striving being one of them.

I had to step back and ask myself, “why do you want to be better?”

If I am honest, a lot of times my intentions were purely selfish. I wanted to change so that people would notice. I wanted to do things differently so that people would think highly of me. My self-awareness became for the sake of my self-promotion.

Why do I want it?

It is a question that we can use to check the pulse of our flesh. Do I want it for my own personal gain? Or do I want it because my desires are aligned with His will?

I now know that the things the Lord reveals to me about what I need to work on aren’t for the sake of me getting the praise of others. It is because He created me to operate in a certain way and in my brokenness I stray from His intended design. He isn’t making us self-aware so that we can do better things for Him. He is making us self-aware so that we can be shaped into an image that reflects Him. He is making us self-aware so that we can pinpoint the areas that are not lining up with matching who He is.

The desire to know Him and to be more like Him has to be far greater than anything else. Paul wrote to the church at Corinth, “even if I am unskilled in speaking, I am not so in knowledge; indeed, in every way we have made this plain to you in all things.” 2 Corinthians 11:6

Paul wanted them to know that it didn’t matter he was unskilled talent wise he might be, he had knowledge. Knowledge will far outshine talent. Knowing Him is what will make you the best you can be. Knowing Him is what really matters.

I want to change the world. Who doesn’t? For far too long, some of us have desired to change the world more than we desired the Lord to change us. You won’t ever change anything if you yourself aren’t willing to be changed. Some of us have a lot farther to go than we think. Some of aren’t quite ready for all that He intends to give us. He can get us ready though, if we let Him.

Slow down. Scale back. Say no. It is okay to not be there yet.

We are all the prodigals. We need to go home and give the Father what He really desires – us.

And just in case we forget, there is only one person that can change the world. He already did it once. I need Him to do this. He doesn’t need me.

So really, I am no world changer. None of us are. Our lives are just connected to the one who is.