Knowing Real Friends

This is the story of three doctors, Dr. George Jenkins, Dr. Sampson Davis, and Dr. Rameck Hunt who decided that they would make a pact together to make it out of the mean streets of Newark, NJ. They were friends who knew each other and decided they would stick together. It was their pact that got them out of the streets through college and into medicine. In a very real sense, they were like Drake in his song, Started From The Bottom, when he talked about the need of being surround by authentic people:

No new friends, man we don't feel that
Forget a fake friend, where your real friends at?
We don't like to do too much explaining
Story stays the same, I never changed it
No new friends, man we don’t feel that
Forget a fake friend, where you real friends at?
We don't like to do too much explaining
Story stay the same through the money and the fame cause we...

There’s nothing wrong with making new friends. The point is that when you make friends, you better make sure that you “know” new friends before you make new friends.

Ministry can be a very lonely place if you are not surrounded by authentic people. It’s very important for you to know and be known. When Jesus had a firm grasp of His identity, He set out to make sure He was surrounded by authentic followers. The Bible says that He prayed all night to select his disciples, and even then He only surrounded himself with three trusted disciples.

It also reminds me of three trusted friends in the Old Testament - Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They were leaders serving the king in a culture which was countercultural and anti-God. Somehow, they made a pact that they would remain connected and faithful to God. It’s important in these perilous times that we are firm on our identity in God, and that we have strong connections with people who are authentic and we can trust with our lives.

Just as Jesus counted on his three, Peter, James, and John in crucial times of ministry (i.e., Praying for Him when He was stressed out about being crucified), so we, too, need friends that are known to be dependable.

I think there are at least five principles that we can take from Jesus and His three friends, and the three friends of Daniel, as it relates to “knowing” new friends:

1. Make sure that the people in your inner circle love God as much as you do. When the Apostle Paul was warning the Christians there not to hang around people with shaky character, he was not referring to people in the world, rather those who call themselves Christians but live like they don’t know Him. "I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people - not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people." - 1 Corinthians 5:9
2. Pray about who you let in. Jesus prayed all night about who his apostles would be. "One of those days, Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, He called His disciples to Him and chose twelve of them, whom He also designated apostles." - Luke 6:12-13
3. Be open and honest with those who are in your inner circle. Paul tells the church in Ephesus what it means to speak to each other truthfully: "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body." - Ephesians 4:25
4. Commit to praying for one another in difficult times. "Then Jesus went with His disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and He said to them, 'Sit here while I go over there and pray.' He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and He began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then He said to them, 'My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.'" - Matthew 26:36
5. Make sure they are "Ride or Die" friends. The three Hebrew boys were so committed to God and each other that they were willing to die for what they believed. This is an extension of the friendship bond. But it becomes particularly important when you’re working together to reach a goal, because the pact essentially ties your fates together. "Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, 'O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.'” - Daniel 3:16-18

It’s important to make new friends in ministry. But to last long in ministry, you must “know” new friends.