Leading Others into Better Stories

Reluctant To Listen

When our fourth child came along, I was certain we were done having kids. Who wouldn't be, especially when number four is so full of energy and spirit? Our family seemed full. Our minivan certainly was.

My wife, however, felt God calling her to something more. She had a vision for a better story for our family.

The word adoption would occasionally get thrown around our conversations. I agreed that it was an important topic and one that Christians should be actively involved in. For me "active" meant watching from the sidelines and cheering on those were actually doing something.

For my wife, "active" was beginning to mean us. Child number five.

The last pregnancy was very hard for her physically, full of premature labor, high blood pressure, and bed rest. We both felt that God was speaking very clearly. This would be the last one.

Even though we were both listening, we each heard something different. She heard God say, "You have four kids, but you need one more. Specifically one that is orphaned." I heard God saying, "You have four kids. You need a vasectomy!"

When you stop to think about it we were both hearing the same thing, but my "listening" stopped once I heard the part I liked.

Then God helped me listen to the rest, and he used the example of a friend to do it.

Leading By Example

One of our pastors made a decision to leave our church so that he could plant a new one in his hometown of Cleveland. I watched him walk through this hard decision.

Initially he was reluctant to go. Who would want to leave an established church that you co-founded in order to start all over from scratch? He was happy. He was content. He was not looking for more, especially when more would mean giving up so much.

He would be walking away from a committed membership and established financial resources to a place of need. He would give up fellow pastors and a worship band for a lonely work that he would have to do by himself.

Starting a new church would be hard. There would be obstacles and pain. There would be sleepless nights and adventures into the unknown. A new story did not seem better, it only seemed harder.

But he could not quiet the voice of God in his heart. And so he left.

In his last sermon before moving on, he preached on the idea of not pursuing comfort. Like any other pleasure, the idea of comfort and safety are fleeting. They are both false illusions that we love to hang on to. Tightly.

Living a Better Story

Better stories are not written by accident. They involve a decision to move forward into a life that is difficult for the good of others. Such a story will require us to face challenges and solve problems. We make this choice when we follow God where he leads us instead of remaining where we are in our comfort.

God was telling me that I love the comfort of a safe, boring story. And comfort will never satisfy the soul like trusting him. Happiness will never be found in doing less for God's kingdom. Joy will never be found in spending more time and money on myself.

God was inviting me to trust him.

The Choice

He wanted me to choose more sleepless nights instead of Sunday afternoon naps. To choose more tuition payments instead of early retirement. To choose dirty diapers instead of behaved older children. To choose ruckus instead of rest.

And then I admitted to what my wife tries to tell me all the time. She was right.

Months later we would learn that she was only partially correct. Instead of just one child, we decided to adopt two. From four to six!

Rather than choosing myself, God was telling me to choose two poor, orphaned, beautiful kids from China. Our new son and daughter.

Now it does not seem like much of a choice at all.

When we as leaders step into our own difficult story, we invite others to follow us. We show them the way away from lives of comfort and safety and into stories full of adventure.

Does your leadership invite others to play it safe or follow you into a difficult story?

Jeremy Statton is an Orthopedic surgeon and a writer. To download a free copy of his eBook Grace Is click here. You can read more from him at his blog here or follow him on Twitter here.