Reaching God through Words

Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that we are all sinners. We all make mistakes-sometimes self-destructive ones-but that doesn't mean we can't start fresh again and learn to forgive ourselves and other people who have affected our lives. I haven't always made the right choices, but that's part of the learning curve in life. We all deserve another chance.

Understanding who you are must come before understanding your relationship with God. I finally got to a place where I had enough clarity and my heart was in the right place to be able to sit down and go back through my life. The process of writing my memoir, Sinner's Creed, was so cathartic. I realized that so much of me had been tucked away, very deep inside, and it was causing many problems with my life, my wife, my career, and my relationship with God.

Writing this book became kind of a personal road map to help me finally confront how one person can know right from wrong but completely do the opposite. I needed to address and confess my sins, mainly to get my heart right with God, but also to heal. I needed to seek forgiveness and make amends with many people, including myself. And I wanted to do it for my wife and my children. My family is the most important thing in my world, and without their support, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Today is all I can focus on. Before I became sober, I had a problem focusing on handling today. I always had one foot in the past and one foot in the future. That never worked for me. Many people ask me how to prepare for the future. That's easy. I focus on staying sober, keeping my faith, and being the best dad and husband I can be. But I can only handle twenty-four hours at a time. Writing Sinner's Creed gave me the ability to look at my life as if it were stretched out on a canvas. Parts of the book were difficult for me to relive, but I know in my heart that dealing with my demons allows me to be free of them.

Oftentimes we find ourselves running from our faith. Even though God gave me a platform with my band, Creed, and I feel that he called me into ministry at a young age, I ran from my calling. But God used me in spite of myself. God saved my life and has been by my side from day one, despite my rebellion and weaknesses. I wish I had been able to stay clean, hold strong in my faith, and focus on my blessings when Creed first started up, but I couldn't back then because I was afraid. I wasn't strong enough talk the walk and walk the talk. But that is my testimony. God is a God of new beginnings, and this book is a beginning for me.

During the writing of Sinner's Creed I realized a song I had written a few years earlier had to accompany the book. It was the sound track of my life, of my story. I titled the song "Sinners Creed: Pray for Sunrise."

Sometimes a lyric comes into my head and I just start writing. I get encouraged by remarkable blessings that happen in my life, like when my first son, Jagger, was born, and I was inspired to write "With Arms Wide Open." Looking back over my journey while writing the book with David Ritz, I was given the stimulus to write a new song about survival.

Let me tell a little story about a
Man who died . . .
Tell you every legend
In his fight to survive.

Part of wanting to write my memoir is about sharing the story of my survival with others. God is the miracle-working heart surgeon, and he gives the best heart transplants in the world. There are no scars on the outside, and the scars on the inside just make us better Christians so we can help others. I got the heart transplant I needed in order to survive, and now my heart is completely new, fresh and alive, full of love and grace and understanding.

--Scott Stapp