Safeguarding Your Legacy

Over the years, I’ve fielded hundreds of questions about my journey from going broke to learning God’s ways of handling money. I’ve answered questions like, “How did you keep money from destroying your life?” and “How did you keep your wealth from ruining your children?”

Those are good questions. Everyone has seen celebrities fall into all kinds of dysfunction, and none of us want to end up there. That’s why it’s important to know how to safeguard the legacy you’re building.

It Starts With Relationships

When Moses led the Israelites to the edge of the Promised Land, he challenged them to make wise decisions that would bless generations to come:

“I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live.” (Deuteronomy 30:19).

Every day, we make those kinds of decisions. We either choose life and blessing, or we choose death and cursing. From a legacy perspective, those choices are really centered on our relationships—how we view ourselves, our marriages, our kids, and our extended family and friends. Getting these relationships right is a big deal when it comes to protecting the legacy God wants us to build.

I’ve found that the best way to make sure your relationships bless—instead of curse—your legacy is to filter them through three specific lenses: ownership, magnification, and community.

The Ownership Lens

Ownership refers to God’s ownership. Everything belongs to God (Psalm 24:1), and He’ll hold us accountable for what we do with His stuff (1 Corinthians 4:2). So, I constantly remind myself that it’s not mine, and I’m always asking God what He wants me to do with what he’s entrusted to me.

In marriage, ownership means working with your spouse to manage God’s resources wisely. When couples remember together that they don’t own anything, they aren’t as selfish or focused on their personal rights. They nurture respect and protect the nobility of their relationship.

For our children, ownership reminds us that more is caught than taught. Your example sets the tone for how your children will view wealth. It also teaches them that whatever they inherit is not their own.

And ownership gives us wisdom to deal with friends and extended family members according to God’s plan. You can’t fall prey to toxic ways things have been done in the past. You have to stand against bad behavior—even if it involves family and friends.

The Magnification Lens

Magnification reminds us that money makes us more of what we already are. So, if I’m a jerk with a little, I’m going to be a colossal jerk with a lot. Likewise, if I’m generous when I have a little, I’m going to be incredibly generous once I’ve built some wealth. Money magnifies us—good or bad.

In marriage, magnification means that money isn’t a salve; wealth won’t heal a wounded marriage. Instead, pouring more money into a broken marriage will just widen the cracks. For a couple to leave a lasting legacy together, they have to first work on the marriage and then work on the wealth.

Magnification also challenges us to really know our children. What we teach will be magnified in their lives, so we’ve got to instill values early. Proverbs 22:6 says we need to train children to walk well—and that includes teaching them how to handle money.

Money also magnifies the true character of friends and extended family. If they have a twisted view of wealth, you’ll likely find a lot of jealousy, greed and suspicion as your wealth increases. To truly safeguard your legacy, you have to watch out for—and sometimes cut yourself off from—toxic relationships.

The Community Lens

The final lens, community, challenges us to walk with wise people so we can be wise (Proverbs 13:20). On a personal level, I need relationships that hold me accountable. That’s why I’ve met with a close-knit group of men for more than a decade. We’ve done a lot of life together, and they have the right and responsibility to let me know when I’m stepping out of bounds.

In marriage, surround yourselves with other couples who will encourage your spiritual and financial journey. Proverbs 11:14 tells us that the lack of counsel ruins people. In contrast, healthy relationships with other couples keep you grounded and walking on a solid path.

You also need to pay attention to your children’s friends. Paul said, “evil company corrupts good habits” (1 Corinthians 15:33). If your kids hang out with bad influences, they will imitate those influences. Direct them toward healthy relationships and model healthy community for them.

For extended family and friends, boundaries are vital to community. You need to set limits to protect yourself and your family from feelings of entitlement and the temptation to enable bad behavior. Those roots run deep, so only nurture positive influences that will protect your legacy.

Four relationships, filtered through three lenses. Getting those things right can guide you—and the people you lead—on a path to blessings, rather than curses. Safeguarded legacies change family trees and create a culture of life for generations to come.