The 4 Killers of Gratitude

grat·i·tude – gratəˌt(y)o͞od/ – noun
The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

As you step into this season of Thanksgiving, are you ready to show gratitude and to appreciate? If not, you may be suffering from the results of one of these ‘Gratitude Killers’...

1. Entitlement
When we walk through life with an air of expectation or entitlement – in relationships, work, or with life, in general – we leave ourselves with plenty of room for disappointment. Rather than expecting certain things or results, learn to be grateful with whatever may come. This doesn’t mean that you have to set aside an internal pull that helps you to produce at a certain level. It just means we should strive for the sake of the work, and the level of excellence we want to give, not because of what we expect to get in return.

2. Ego
Missed expectations can give way to ego and pride when we look at the ‘return of investment’ and aren’t satisfied with the results. Equally as dangerous is turning around and looking at your wake and putting false accolades on yourself for what you perceive to be the work of your own hands. Certain successes may very well be the result of what you, yourself, have done. Most of the time, however, there is a community in success that we can’t lose sight of. When we feel like what we have is simply a direct result of what we’ve done, we usually miss out on being grateful to those around us who’ve helped bring us to where we are.

3. Perspective
9 times out of 10 when I have faced a point of frustration and contempt, it is because I’m too close to the details of the situation. Being willing to pause my reactions, step back, and gain perspective, puts me in a better mental framework to be thankful. A majority of the time, the insurmountable because more inconsequential when I gain proper perspective.

4. Lack of ‘Others’ Focus
We live in a myopic world that is overly consumed with self. It’s easy for the best of us to get caught in the unhealthy pattern of ‘checking ourselves in the mirror’ too often. When we are continually focused on ourselves, even for seemingly good reasons, we can lose focus on those outside of ourselves (including God). We can’t be grateful for what we don’t notice.

If one or more of these ring true for you, spend some intentional time this week working on them. Sometimes the quickest way to a grateful heart can simply be shifting your focus today toward others. Let those around you know that they are appreciated, whether you feel thankful or not, and you just might be surprised at how quickly the feeling follows.