The Balancing Act

“If someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?”- 1 Timothy 3:5 (ESV)

For those of us in ministry, I know it is a constant battle to properly manage your own home while caring for God’s Kingdom. We all wear many hats and sometimes it gets overwhelming. I am a husband, father, uncle, brother, son, friend, and a pastor. Each of these titles and roles require time, energy, focus and attention.

So how do we balance all of our different roles, and still honor the word by properly managing our own home and God’s church? I’d like to offer 3 suggestions on how to balance the demands of ministry and the demands of your home:

 

Set clear boundaries.

For married couples, it is great to come together and decide what works best for your marriage. The pull and demands of ministry are constant so it is good to set clear boundaries early in ministry. Are people able to call you after a certain time when you are home? Should you be able to check your church email at home after certain times? Is there a set time and day for date night that church events will not take over? What events do your kids have to be at and what events can they miss? These are topics and issues that can cause real stress in your marriage and in your ministry. I would encourage you to invest in your household by taking the time to talk through them as a family.

 

Be fully present at home.  

This is difficult for ministry leaders, because our minds are always on the next meeting, service, camp, event, hospital visit, etc. But my challenge is for you to be fully present with your family when you are with them. That may mean putting down the phone and playing on the floor with your kids. Or not mentally thinking about the next worship service during date night. Whatever you’re doing, be fully engaged with your family when you are with them.

Family members feel the effects of our absence when we are not fully present. And God desires for us to manage our homes well, and in order to do that, we must be fully there. Be patient, this is a mindset and practice that will take intentional time to cultivate.

 

Make adjustments along the way.

The boundaries you set when you got married will be different than the boundaries you need when you have three kids. You can never go in autopilot mode when it comes to trying to balance the demands of ministry and family life. Each day, each week, and each year adjustments have to be made. Maybe one year your child can play two sports, but the next year it is too taxing on the whole family for your child to play both of them. Small and large adjustments need to be made along the way and communicated clearly. As you continue to care for your household as well as God’s church, pray and ask God to help you make the right adjustments for a healthy balance.