The Trap Of Self Pity

There is a point in ministry when you realize the calling is not as glamorous as you might have thought when you first fell in love with it. Meetings pile up. Relationships need to be managed. Sin creeps in. Your heart is in a daily fight for truth and righteousness, and by trying to expand God’s Kingdom, you put a big ol' bull’s eye on your life for the enemy to attack you. And he will.

One by one we fall into the pit of self-pity. You know the pit? It’s where you question everything and feel defeated or helpless.

Once you slide into the pit, the voice of the enemy has you right where he wants—defeated and frustrated. The smallest bump can remind you of your mistakes, your current situation, or your unmet expectations. And you fall deeper into the pit. You crawl and crawl and try to find a way out. You pray. You sing. You talk. You listen. You cry. And you inch yourself closer and closer out of the pit until the enemy does one simple thing and knocks you down again. At some point you want to give up and just believe the lie that this is just the way it is.

I’m not writing this based on theory; I write this based on my own personal experience and walking through life with generations of students and leaders. I believe that the pit is one of the greatest tools of the enemy. You know why? That’s because we are mostly afraid to talk about it in fear of how it might make us look. Once again the enemy wins. Our silence is his gain. Our pain leads to his victory.

Recently I was meeting with a great leader talking about my ministry and some current needs. Frustrated with me, he said, “I can’t help you if I don’t know that you have a need.” And there it is. As I’ve wrestled with the pit of self-pity, I’ve learned something really strong that can help us out. Don’t blame God for your mistakes. Cling to Him because of them.

By not talking about our fears, frustrations, or current struggles, we can’t experience the freedom and peace that can only come by inviting Him into our situation. He desires to carry us though. But we have to let Him.

The journey to hope begins with surrender that you can’t do it on your own.

As you think about your own leadership, take a moment to soak in these words from Paul. May they encourage you to crawl out of the pit and cling to Him so that you will fully be the person He has you here to be.

Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

Ephesians 6:13–18 (MSG)