Three Reasons People Settle

(This article was first published on 11/09/15)

I want to familiarize you with some of the reasons why people settle, just in case you ever start seeing them in yourself:

1. People settle when they get sentimentally attached to a past season of their life.

Sometimes people are supposed to stay where they have been, but nothing is supposed to stay like it has been. When people don’t evolve with life and embrace change, they settle for a lifetime in what was meant to be a season. If you’ve had a setback recently or suffered the loss of a loved one, no one should fault you for having grief or discouragement in your life. But I want to encourage you to not let the temporary conditions of your life dictate a permanent perspective.

2. People settle in a place of relational wounds.

Relational wounds can be terribly debilitating, and many people settle in the place of a lost relationship. They allow themselves to linger mentally and emotionally in a place that God wants them to move beyond. Or sometimes people choose to leave our lives. That can hurt. But when it happens, never ask them to stay. Just know that God has new and better relationships in mind for you. You’re better off and will be a lot happier being with people who want to be with you.

When you are offended or wounded relationally, it may seem justified to nurse the wound, to rehearse the injustice. You may have a right and good reason to be hurt. But anger will eventually consume you, and bitterness will destroy you if you let it. The best thing to do is to forgive those people and move on. Don’t let yourself linger in the place of relational wounds and miss out on the future God has for you.

3. People settle because where they are is “good enough” and they want to stay comfortable.

So right about now, you may be thinking, Kevin, settling isn’t really that bad. Settled people can still enjoy a good life. But just because someone makes the best of his life doesn’t mean he’s living his best life. “Good enough” is the enemy of “better than ever!”

Don’t make the mistake of settling for good enough. Good enough is not your destiny! Are you aware that being comfortable is way overrated? The best things in life don’t come when you’re comfortable. In fact, being too comfortable can clog your arteries, soften your muscles, and make you weak and tired. Your body may want to settle and be comfortable, but that’s not how you experience the healthiest and best life.

The place of “good enough” might sound tempting because it’s more comfortable. But it’s not the place God has for you. “Good enough” is not your destiny. 

Settling is a lie that causes us to miss out on all that God has beyond where we are right now.